Interview with Ikhlas Eshtaya, Salem , West Bank / Tova Buksbaum

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Tova: Last May, you and your family went through a very difficult event. And I would like to hear about that from you. The photos taken of your home tell the story, but it is important that people also know about it in your words. I would also like people to know the context of this event, to know something about you and what it was like growing up in the West Bank, and what your life is like today.

Before we begin, it's important that I make a disclosure: You and I are friends and have known each other for many years, since we are both members of the Israeli- PCFF - Palestinian and Israeli Bereaved Families Forum - you lost your father and I lost my brother and my cousin.

To start– can you tell us about yourself, Ikhlas?

Ikhlas: I am Ikhlas Eshtaya from a small village called Salem, to the east of Nablus, West Bank. I was born blind, during the first Intifada. And when I grew up, and before that, when I was a child, I realized the reality of occupation, because we used to see the army daily in the village, in the neighboring areas around us. But, you know, you don’t have an image of the occupation. You only have the image of the soldier who's in front of us with a gun, ready to shoot, or a settler who is coming to take the land and take the homes from the people and live there. When I grew up, I’m sorry to say, I lost my father. He was murdered by a settler, and then our real suffering from the occupation started.

Tova: Ikhlas, can you tell us please how your father was murdered?

Ikhlas: Yes. My father was working as a taxi driver on the minor roads near our village. He used to take people to their work in the morning and to bring them back home, as any taxi driver does. This settler came from Germany to live here. And he turned from Christianity to Judaism. So, I think he wanted to prove that he's really a Jew and a settler. He had a small settlement for himself near Itamar. And on that day, on the 27th of September 2004, in the afternoon, my father, as I said earlier, was driving, taking people back to their homes. Suddenly, on a minor road, the settler popped up, and he shot a bullet which penetrated my father's hand and settled down in his heart. Unfortunately, he died immediately. My father was not subjecting the settler to danger, as the testimonies from inside the car, heard in the Israeli courts, demonstrated that my father was not able to hurt him. But the settler appeared suddenly and shot a bullet from his M16 gun, which killed my father immediately. And this was the reality, the story, the real suffering from that day until now. We suffer daily from the occupation.

Tova: Can you tell us about the recent events?

Ikhlas: On Sunday, May 17^th, we were sleeping at our house. You know, I am married, you know, with two children. My son, Yaseen, is 5 years old, and my daughter, Miri, Miryam, is 4 years old.

Tova:  I know, Yaseen and Miryam, they are such beautiful kids!

 Ikhlas: Yes, thank you very much. It was 7 in the morning. The alarm clock started, and I woke up. I heard a voice around the house.

I set an alarm daily at 7:00 AM to prepare the children to go to kindergarten, and it rang at 7:00 AM. As usual, I woke up before them. But I heard a voice around the house, and I said to myself: "Really…? My family is awake, and they are sitting on the veranda?"

Tova: You mean the family around you, your mother, your brothers, your sisters?

Ikhlas: Yes, my mother, my brothers, my sisters. They all live close to us. And on that day, we were in mourning because my grandfather, my mother's father, passed away, and people came to express their condolences. And so I said in my mind, "No problem, maybe some people came over early to offer their condolences." I took a glass of water, I drank it, and then the knocking on the door continued, quickly and violently. I said, "Please wait." I said in Arabic, "Stanna, stanna, shway, shway." And I opened the door. But here there was the surprise… It's the Israeli army officer telling me, "Go upstairs with your children." I tell him, "Please, I am blind and my children are still sleeping." I took the children, you know, I took them from their beds, from my bed, sorry… because we don't have… we have one bed on which all of us are sleeping. The officer told me to go upstairs to my family's house. And I told him, "My children are still sleeping."

I took the children from my bed, we go upstairs, but the children are still sleeping. Yaseen, while he was climbing up the stairs, he was still sleeping… He fell down, you know, and his chin was injured.

Tova: What did you tell them? About what's going on?

Ikhlas: I didn't have anything to say, because the house was full of soldiers, dozens of soldiers in my house and in my family’s house.

They "visited" us from 7 AM to 10:30… breaking everything inside the houses, my house, my small old room, you know… I live in a very old room, maybe 100 years old... And they played with all the contents of the houses, and they destroyed everything… My two brothers' houses were also destroyed. The furniture was ruined.

Tova: Ikhlas… tell me, did the officer, when he entered your house… burst into the house, to say it more correctly… what did he say? Why are they doing this?

Ikhlas: No, no, no! I don't have the ability to talk with him. He's very frightening. The way he talks, the way he stands…

Tova: OK - but did he give any excuse, even an unreasonable one, for invading your house?

Ikhlas: No, no, no, no, no! He just told me, "Go upstairs!!!”

Tova: You know, Ikhlas, I am asking these questions again and again, even though you already gave me the answer, since I know what may go through the minds of some of the readers when they read your testimony: "It can't be just that… there must be a reason, the soldiers knew something… they must have been looking for something!" 

Ikhlas:  No, no, they said nothing. In fact, nothing. I want to ask the human mind, OK? A blind woman with two children under 5 years old, living in a very old room, what does she have?!  My audience, my readers, what do they have to say when they see such a situation?!

Tova: I know, my dear, it's just because I want the readers to understand the situation. I really want them to imagine that scene. Dozens of soldiers burst in your little room, as you say, a blind woman with two little children, and say nothing, they just burst in, because they can, because they have the power of the occupier and don't have to obey any law.

Ikhlas: No, no. They told me, "Go upstairs," that's it. Yes, that's all.

Tova: And what happened with your mother and Yayah, your brother? Did they tell them something?

Ikhlas:  Ahh, my brother, Yahya, you know him…

They took Yahya… they started knocking violently on the door of his house. And the door of Yahya's house is a Mul-T-Lock door. And Yahya told them, "Please, I want to open the door, so give me a moment," because, you know, he just woke up… And he has 2 boys, 2 and 3 years old. And the soldiers were not patient, and they exploded the door, and they started hitting Yahya with their guns. "Why you are late to open the door for us?" He told them, "I was asleep. I wanted to take the key and I wanted to open the door for you, but you were not patient." So they hit him a lot. Imagine, they stepped on his back with their boots, telling him, "Give us your weapon." He told them, "I don't have enemies, so why should I carry a weapon!? I don't need to carry it in my house, because I have no enemies. And before the 7th of October, I used to work in Israel. And you used to give us permits."

You know, until now he is not feeling well, you know…backpains…people were stepping on his back, and he could not say anything because he didn't want us to be in tension, he didn't want his wife and children and all the family to know that he's in pain.

The children, imagine, they put us in the smallest room in my family's house together, five women with 10 children, or even 15 children, my mother with all the grandchildren. It was a very difficult and fearful day, really. It was astonishing... Until now, I can hardly feel secure as a result of this day. And from that night until now, I wake up five to six times every night. I sleep and then wake up, and then sleep and then wake up. I'm afraid, you know, to have the same feeling as that morning when I couldn't walk. My legs were shivering. My children were trembling. After they woke up, they opened their eyes and saw men with guns entering our house. What can I tell them?!

They took Yaseen, my son, and Kinda, my brother's daughter, and asked them, "Does your father have weapons?" Yaseen told them, "No, my father does not live here. My father lives in Jenin, and he visits us once a week." And Kinda told them, "No, my father does not. My father has four daughters, he's busy with them."

The children were crying. Yaseen, you know, he fell down, he stumbled on the stairs when the soldiers ordered us to go upstairs, and he was still completely sleepy, and injured his chin.

We put a Band-Aid on him when the soldiers were still in the house, and when the soldiers left, we took him to the doctor. The doctor cleaned the injury and had to put 4 or 5 stitches on his chin. The soldiers did not hit him, but he was afraid. And while he was running, he stumbled. He stumbled and fell and was injured. Yes, they took Yasin and Kinda and questioned them. Miri, they didn't take her because when she saw them she started crying and put herself on my bosom.

Tova: My dear Ikhlas, to see the pictures from your house, it was devastating. Now to hear you describing what happened to you, to the children, it's unbearable.

Ikhlas: They broke the oven on which my mother made bread. She had a very good oven. After some days she bought a new one. I gave her some money donated by women from the Forum, and some other Israeli women. People donated according to their ability, and with the money I also bought new furniture to replace the one that the soldiers broke.  

Thanks. Thanks a lot for their donations. I'm glad I was able to buy the new oven for my mother.

And so they stayed in our house for three hours, three and a half, something like that. We were in the smallest room in the house with the children. They were crying. You know, and there was a soldier waving at us with his gun, "Shut up, don't talk," but they are children. How can I stop them from crying, you know?!

I called their father, and he took them with him to his first family. He has brothers and sisters in Jenin. They went there until I get things fixed, until I feel relaxed myself, because if I am under tension, I cannot do anything with them. I can't cook for them, I cannot make showers for them, I cannot wash their clothes.

As you know, I am a second wife. Unfortunately, I'm a second wife, this is the problem. So I sent them away for some days. My sister, her husband, and some relatives helped me to arrange the house.

After the army left, we came back to our house, and Yassin and Miri, they saw that their toys were broken.

The members of the Forum sent us new toys for the children, and food, some good food for me and for the whole family. Jacob Abu Rabi (a member of the Forum - T.B.) came, and he gave us the food and the toys for the children and brought us greetings from the Forum members. Our friends made donations.

We have been undergoing many, many traumas because of the occupation and the apartheid practices. The violence of the settlers is increasing in the West Bank nowadays. They take land, they confiscate houses, they take belongings, even the sheep and the goats of the people, they take them. They even kill people. And all these apartheid practices are done under the supervision of the army, the official army.

Tova: It's not the first time that the army invaded your house— I remember visiting you a few years ago, 3 or 4, after the previous invasion and the destruction they caused in your house.  

Ikhlas: Yes, yes… It's not the first time they burst into our houses, but now it has become a tendency, not only in our house but in all houses in the village.  It's not even a habit. It's more like a tendency - to come and play with the contents of the houses and then go away.

Tova: Who invaded your house this time? The army? The settlers?

Ikhlas: The soldiers together with settlers. They have settlers as volunteers. They come with them. My family noticed and texted me.

Tova:  And as they came, they went away, and that's it?! Said nothing?!

Ikhlas: That's it. No, no, no, nothing, nothing. Nothing. But they left behind them big destruction in all the houses. They even tried to destroy our memories.

I lost the flash memory card on which the video of our wedding was. And I found the picture… my son Yassin told me, "Mama, come, come, the picture of you when you were in the white gown, and my father is on the floor."

Yes, it was my special day, you know. The wedding party for anybody is a special day, of course. And imagine how special it is for a blind woman, since blind women rarely get married in our culture. And I succeeded to be a mother for my children. The most difficult task I found in my life is to take care of children. It's a big challenge to take care of children, especially when you are blind. Yes. And especially when the children are babies. You need to give them food, you need to change their diapers, and you need to help them to grow up. It was very difficult for me until Yasin and Miriam became 5 years old or 4 years old. It was not easy at all.

Tova: I know. I’ve known you since you were single, and I know how much you wanted to be a mother.

Ikhlas: Yes, but I couldn't imagine how difficult it is, you know. It's a very difficult task. It's not a work and it's not studies and especially for a mother that can't see.

Tova: You’re talking about university level studies, which you finished. It's another amazing thing you did before you got married and became a mother.

Ikhlas: Yes, I did a BA in English Language and Literature, and I did an MA in Arabic-English Simultaneous Translation. And all of that was not as difficult as being a mother - you know, that's a very challenging task.

Tova: So…today almost a month after the break-in of the army into your house – how do you feel? How is your mother? How is your brother and family?

Ikhlas: All of them, they don't feel secure at all. They can't sleep at night. They only fall asleep at dawn. They also, some of them, constantly monitor to see if the army might come again, you know…

 A group sleeps, and a group is still awake. And when the first group gets its sleeping time, they wake up the other group. Then the monitoring group goes again to sleep.

My younger sister, you know, she has two children, a boy and a girl. She belongs to the group that stays awake all night, and then she goes to sleep in the morning. We look after the children because, you know, her husband is in the Israeli jail, since December.

Tova: I didn't know… What happened to him?!

Ikhlas: He was driving on the road and they appeared suddenly in front of his car. They started shooting at the car and they took him from the car to Ofer jail. He was in Megiddo jail and now he is in Ramon.

Tova: She can visit him? She has any connection with him?

Ikhlas: He calls her from time to time, but she's not able to visit him or to see him. They put him in prison without any trial. He tells her they don't have enough food and clothes for their daily life in the prison. I think this is torture.

Tova: At least you have each other in this difficult and traumatic reality… I was happy to hear the other day that you went to a picnic.

Ikhlas: Yeah, I took my children, you know, because, yes, we want to change the mood. We want to go out. We want to leave it behind us because life, life goes on, you know.

Tova: Toward the end of the interview, would you like to convey a message to readers in Israel or other countries?

Ikhlas: My message, especially for the Israelis, is to elect people who don't take you to hell. Elect people whose intention is to take you to peace rather than the people who take you from one war to another, who keep you in wars and promise you security. Wars will bring you the lack of security. Choose leaders who have the intention to bring change and to make peace. Peace brings you security. Will peace come with occupation?  No, no, when there is occupation, there is no peace.

We have to end the occupation, and then there will be peace for all the people, the Israelis, and the Palestinians, and children like Yasin and Maryam. We can then sleep well and live in peace. I am a mother, I have lack of power, so how can I give to my children if I don't — if I myself, as a mother, don't have power? So, how can I give it to my children?! How can I give it under the occupation?!

The last message is for the inteirnational community: Please increase your support to peace organizations like the PCFF. And please spread our vision and messages on social media and in every way possible.

Tova: Thank you so much, Ikhlas, for sharing with us the difficult events that you and your family went through. People need to know what life is like for a family under occupation and apartheid. I hope that your words will reach the hearts of many people in Israel and around the world and bring an end to the injustices and the occupation.

Editor's note: The interview was conducted by Tova Buksbaum, a member of the Crossings editorial board. The interview reflects Ikhlas Ishtaya's personal testimony and account of events, as she experienced and understood them.

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